I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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