I got chris browned last night
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize