Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
