when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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