i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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