remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Watching her eat just hurts me
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
