Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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