the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
