I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
