doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
