At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.