Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Well now I have my semen on her headphones

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess

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(409): View more from Texas

Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.

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(914): View more from New York

He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List

(914): View more from New York

Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)

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(586): View more from Michigan

Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.

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(209): View more from California

For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.

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