He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
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We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
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my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm like, not good at living.