Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(812): View more from Indiana

I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.

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(970): View more from Colorado

you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.

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(816): View more from Missouri

at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(662): View more from Mississippi

In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no

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(319): View more from Iowa

Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

It's not too late to disappoint her you know...

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(825): View more from

There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.

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