Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus http://tfl.nu/il4r
  Replies (12) Good night (972) Bad night (1227)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Betty ford says i'm here all night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): Betty ford says i'm here all night http://tfl.nu/rxoa
  Replies (2) Good night (798) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus. http://tfl.nu/zy6a
  Replies (37) Good night (4678) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  yes. helicopter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back? (816): yes. helicopter. http://tfl.nu/re1i
  Replies (19) Good night (5560) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds... http://tfl.nu/1h6m
  Replies (12) Good night (1099) Bad night (6522)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with. http://tfl.nu/jmfl
  Replies (13) Good night (5481) Bad night (1270)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important. http://tfl.nu/ehih
  Replies (18) Good night (2422) Bad night (2657)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am. http://tfl.nu/mwe3
  Replies (11) Good night (4514) Bad night (1471)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low. http://tfl.nu/bkkz
  Replies (9) Good night (1370) Bad night (1650)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win http://tfl.nu/ctc5
  Replies (2) Good night (1185) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this. http://tfl.nu/ttw7
  Replies (3) Good night (1413) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn". http://tfl.nu/2c8a
  Replies (6) Good night (2194) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry http://tfl.nu/tonv
  Replies (9) Good night (979) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that. http://tfl.nu/m71m
  Replies (0) Good night (252) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute... http://tfl.nu/0ksf
  Replies (0) Good night (826) Bad night (244)

Randomize