Texts From Last Night

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  (903): View more from Texas

  I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!

  (1-903): View more from Texas

  What does that even mean?

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  (903): I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude! (1-903): What does that even mean? http://tfl.nu/qhna
  Replies (30) Good night (1362) Bad night (5262)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.

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  (702): the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral. http://tfl.nu/20j6
  Replies (7) Good night (832) Bad night (6693)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  maybe i'll see you again later :)

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'd rather shit a knife.

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  (612): maybe i'll see you again later :) (774): I'd rather shit a knife. http://tfl.nu/qge0
  Replies (50) Good night (2069) Bad night (11208)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time

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  (254): I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time http://tfl.nu/rajz
  Replies (21) Good night (8470) Bad night (1005)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.

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  (416): I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of. http://tfl.nu/16vh
  Replies (23) Good night (4398) Bad night (1769)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me

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  (773): At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me http://tfl.nu/wnez
  Replies (4) Good night (3043) Bad night (1366)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do

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  (713): in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do http://tfl.nu/zxnc
  Replies (7) Good night (2112) Bad night (705)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.

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  (224): I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring. http://tfl.nu/u70q
  Replies (6) Good night (2493) Bad night (770)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.

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  (603): Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom. http://tfl.nu/yblg
  Replies (10) Good night (2562) Bad night (695)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.

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  (806): I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit. http://tfl.nu/a0hw
  Replies (4) Good night (2629) Bad night (847)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!

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  (419): Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!! http://tfl.nu/h9u7
  Replies (0) Good night (652) Bad night (333)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!

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  (843): Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs! http://tfl.nu/zm1r
  Replies (0) Good night (453) Bad night (339)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken

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  (954): I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken http://tfl.nu/ui33
  Replies (2) Good night (642) Bad night (236)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla

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  (248): After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla http://tfl.nu/8bae
  Replies (0) Good night (590) Bad night (284)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching

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  (406): You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching http://tfl.nu/fd62
  Replies (1) Good night (455) Bad night (220)

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