nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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