he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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