bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
