You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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