So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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