shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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