Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
