it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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