well you can't waste a boner
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
