Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
