she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
