come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
