Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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