Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
