with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
