When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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