life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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