There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize