i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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