Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
