I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize