whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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