So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
