Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
