I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
