wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
