I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
