the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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