ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
