so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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