I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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