Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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