Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
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I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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