She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Found the puke drawer
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
