watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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