sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
