the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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