Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
