I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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