Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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