she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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