so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
handjob tips. give me some.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
