Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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