i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
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his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize