god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
last night I used snow as a chaser
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