So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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